Growing up, I really admired and respected my dad, so what he thinks of me became very important. 

When I got my 'O' Levels results, I remember he was so angry with how I had done. I just remember being very shocked by the anger. That was really one of the times where I was like, "Okay, I have really failed my dad", and anxiety became the dominant emotion I had, growing up. 

It wasn't that long ago actually that we went for this Date with Dad experience. There were conversation starters during the event, e.g. "What are things that you'd like to apologise for?", "Why are you proud of me?"  

My dad actually apologised for his expectations of me growing up. And I remember that he said that he was proud of me. I think just that. Even without reasons, it felt unconditional.  

I am still learning to accept that my dad is doing the best he can. While we speak different love languages, him buying stuff or providing for the family; that's him doing his best. That's him loving me, loving us. 

My parents changing need not be part of the solution.  

Although my current family isn’t perfect, I do think that there's really a lot more communication, emotional honesty.   

My hope is that I won't feel like I need to be beholden to my own experience with my original family.  

I don't need to feel like I can't be any different from them because this is what I went through.